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Showing posts from 2009

What do we build in our lives?

Once upon a time two brothers, who lived on adjoining farms, fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a conflict. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's tool box. "I'm looking for a few days' work" he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?" "Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you." "Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor; in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek bet…

Wife's cat

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing. As he was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?". "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

Confidence & Self Esteem

Confidence and Self-Esteem were best friends. They went everywhere together. If Confidence bought a new dress, Self-Esteem bought one just like it. They were very close. One day a new kid came to their school. His name was Peer Pressure. He had a friend called Hateful Words. They decided to give Confidence a hard time. They constantly teased her. They forced her to do terrible things. It was so terrible that Confidence lost Self-Esteem. When Self-Esteem wanted to start some classes, Confidence said they wouldn't be any good. Then one day, Peer Pressure introduced Confidence to Doubt. He wanted to ruin Confidence, but Peer Pressure said he couldn't yet. Self Esteem couldn't understand what was wrong with Confidence. Confidence now hung around with Depression, Low Self-Esteem, and Overeating. These girls were friends of Peer Pressure. Self-Esteem no longer had any friends. She no longer felt good about herself. She went to see her Imaam. Imaam Good Words told her how to talk…

The Irish

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box ." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that, You didn't put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Fo…

THE OLD MOTOR

The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'Thisis amazing. How do you do it at your age?' The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old motor running.' The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, 'Sir, you are something! How do you manage it?' The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep the old motor running.' A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child. The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, 'Well, you surely are something a…

Dog

Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone... "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back ... "Good morning, Mr. Williams.... Just called to say that I don't *have* a dog."

Boy and Tree

There was one time a very young boy, who used to spend time playing by a tree. One day he got bored and he said to the tree, "I'm bored, I've played with these toys too many times!" The tree replied, "OK, you can climb up on me and play on my branches." The boy got really happy with this suggestion and he had a lot of fun playing and sitting high up, on the branches of the tree. When he started school, he spent more time away from the tree, but one day he came back to it, and the tree was overjoyed to see its young companion, and it encouraged him to climb on, but he refused. "My clothes are going to get dirty if I climb up on you."
So the tree thought for a while, and said, "OK, bring a rope and tie it to me, and you can use my branches as a swing." The boy liked that idea, so he did that too, and would come back every other day to sit for a while on that swing. Whenever he used to get hot, the tree told him to rest in its shade. As …

EASY ....... DIFFICULT

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book.
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart. Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound... Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them... Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream... Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity... Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side... Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up... Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value... Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise... Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day... Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult …

Lucky guy

Image
A deformed and ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the bartender.

"I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks; like in the movies.

I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made …. All night, all over the house. We did everything;!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno...never found the head."


THE MAN WHO WILLED HIMSELF TO DIE

There was a man who worked for the railroad. One day as he went into the freezer compartment to do his routine work, the door accidentally closed and he found himself trapped in the compartment. He shouted for help but no one heard him since it was past midnight. He tried to break down the door but he could not. As he lay in the freezer compartment, he began to feel colder, and colder. Then he began to feel weaker, and weaker, and he wrote on the wall of the compartment, “I am feeling colder, and colder; and I am getting weaker, and weaker. I am dying, and this may be my last words”. In the morning when the other workers opened up the compartment they found him dead. The sad twist to the above story is that the freezing apparatus in the compartment had broke down a few days earlier. The poor worker did not know about the damaged freezing apparatus and in his mind the freezing apparatus was working perfectly. He felt cold, got weaker and literally willed himself to die. SUCCESS PRINCIP…

50 More Facts

1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer. 2. A raisin dropped in a glass of freshchampagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. 4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. 5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. 6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. 7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog. 8. Most lipstick contains fish scales. 9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine. 10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time. 11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casin0s. …

Mind Blowing Facts

1. Turtles have no teeth. 2. Prehistoric turtles may have weighed as much as 5,000 pounds. 3. Only one out of a thousand baby sea turtles survives after hatching. 4. Sea turtles absorb a lot of salt from the sea water in which they live. They excrete excess salt from their eyes, so it often looks as though they're crying. 5. Helium is a colourless, odourless, tasteless inert gas at room temperature and makes up about 0.0005% of the air we breathe. 6. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top. 7. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top. 8. Camels can spit. 9. An ostrich can run 43 miles per hour (70 kilometers per hour). 10. Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world. 11. Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? The…

The Boss

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."Pfufffff and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back right now ." Pfuffff ……….:p Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

Don't break the elastic

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And there on television, she said it was 'exciting.' Maya Angelou said this: 'I've learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.' 'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.' 'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.' 'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.' 'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.' 'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands . You need to be able to throw some things back.' 'I've …

Some Good and bad things

The most destructive habit...............................Worry The greatest Joy............................................Giving The greatest loss........................Loss of self-respect The most satisfying work.....................Helping others The ugliest personality trait....................Selfishnesss The most endangered species........Dedicated leaders Our greatest natural resource..................Our youth The greatest "shot in the arm"............Encouragement The greatest problem to overcome.....................Fear The most effective sleeping pill............Peace of mind The most crippling failure disease..................Excuses The most powerful force in life.........................Love The most dangerous pariah.......................A gossiper The world's most incredible computer........The brain The worst thing to be without........................ Hope The deadliest weapon............................The tongue The two most power-filled words......…

Fishing

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that s#!t."

ROMANCING WITH THE SENSES

Most of us have fallen in love at least once in our lives. That one time that we fell in love could be the one great love of our lives, and that person we fell in love with is the one to whom we are blissfully married and with whom we see ourselves staying for the rest of our lives. That one time we fell in love could have also sparked for us a series of love affairs, some lasting happily for as long as it lasted, while others ending up in a bitter breakup. Without resorting to sugary language found in sonnets and in drugstore paperback romances, we can all say that being in love is a wonderful feeling. Being in love makes us dazed and lightheaded, as if we are drunk. It makes our steps airy, as if we are walking on the clouds. We serenade the world with loud voices, and we smile and laugh even when there is nothing funny. This is most true when love is still new and all the gestures of your loved one appear romantic to you. There comes a point in every relationship, however, when the…

A Simple Calculation! - But Stunning!

Amazing Growth of INFOSYS We all know about the growth story of Infosys. How about the stock? Lets find out. Infosys was founded by Narayana Murthy along with some others in 1981. It came with an IPO in 1993 at the price of Rs. 95. Everybody who applied got the shares. Many missed the Diamond opportunity by not applying. Suppose that a person applied for 100 Shares. It would cost him Rs. 9500. Let us assume that he is holding the same position till today. What will be the value now? Let us calculate. Remember that in these 13 years Infosys would have offered many dividends. Let us keep this aside and calculate the value of shares alone. Soon after IPO, Infy gave 1:1 bonus in 1994. So, our 100 shares will be 200 in 1994. Again they gave 1:1 bonus in 1996. That will take the count to 400 shares. And again in 1998 they offered bonus of 1:3 shares. That will take our count to 1600 shares. In 2000, they split the stocks (Rs. 10 FC to Rs. 5 FC). This will take our count to 3200 shares. In 2…

Trading Place

Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you." The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can't hear you." Finally, the priest yelled, "CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?" Again, the reply was, "I can't hear you." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to …

BEST THOUGHTS

BEST THOUGHTS.........who is.. Best Teacher ---- EXPERIENCE ********* Best Book ------- LIFE ********* Best Student -----DILIGENCE ********* Best Lesson ------ PATIENCE ********* Best Friend ------ PRAISE ********* Best Sport ------ DUTY ********* Best Dress ----- SMILE ********* Best Shelter ---- TRUTH ********* Best Medicine--- LAUGH ********* Best Manners--- COURTESY ********* Best Hobby----- SERVICE ********* Best Religion---- HUMANITY ********* Best Relation---- LOVE ********* Best Insurance-- GOOD DEEDS.....!!! *********

Taxi Driver

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. " The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years." *********

Navy man and Army man

A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined. Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said, "Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us." The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vodka? I have a bottle in the truck." The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said, "Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"

What's the difference

What's the difference between an embassy and a consulate? A consulate is like a junior embassy. It's generally located in a busy tourist city, and takes care of minor diplomatic tasks such as issuing visas. The word consulate literally means office of the consul, who is a diplomat appointed to foster trade and take care of expatriates. You can read some pointed essays about the role of the modern day consulate at the American Foreign Service site. Embassies are much bigger deals. The word embassy comes from the French ambassade, or office of the ambassador. Ambassadors are high-ranking diplomatic representatives who serve as spokespersons for their national governments. If one country recognizes the sovereignty of another, they generally establish an embassy there. Embassies take care of the same administrative duties as consulates, but they also represent their governments abroad. This can be tricky business. For instance, the United States doesn't maintain an embassy in …

Aaj ke daur men AI dost

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Aaj ke daur men AI dost ye munzar kyun hai ZaKhm har sar pe har I haath men patthar kyun hai Jab haqiqat hai ke har zarre men TU rahataa hai Phir zamin par kahin masjid kahin mandir kyun hai Apana anjaam to maalum hai sab ko phir bhi Apani nazaron men har insan sikandar kyun hai Zindagi jiiney ke qaabil hi nahin AB "Faakir" Varnaa har aankh men ashkon kaa samandar kyun hai *********

"my wife's expecting."

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting." "Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck." The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting." The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off." When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed. "Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" cried the Officer. "Me." said the soldier simply. ********

Interesting Facts

1) Human birth control pill work on gorillas. 2) The right lung takes in more air than the left. 3) it is illegal to own a red car in shanghai china. 4) A hard-boiled egg will spin. An uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not. 5) Astronauts cannot burp in space. 6) The snowiest city in the U.S.A. is blue canyon, California 7) Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks. 8) Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand. 9) The great warrior Genghis khan died in bed while having sex. 10) No matter how cold it gets gasoline will not freeze.

How To Become A Dad

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. 'Why?' my daughter asked. 'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.' I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. ' 'Exactly' I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Send Men Immediately

A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language though she was not good in English. She was also fond of using very small sentenses to communicate. Always in hurry she used to creat lots if funny situations. Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went off at midnight that too during the examination season. She immediately contacted electricity board's complaints office over phone and placed instant demand saying. " Lights gone in our ladies hostel. Send Men immediately. Girls using candles."

I am a Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. " The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many." The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.. " The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar." *********

A SMALL PACKET ?

WHEN THE BOY WAS RETURNING AFTER HIS MARRIAGE…HE FOUND HIS WIFE HOLDING A SMALL PACKET.. THE BOY ASKED……..WHATS THERE IN THAT PACKET.. WIFE REPLIED…..DARLING THIS IS THE SECRET OF MY LIFE...PLS NEVER OPEN IT OR ASK ME ABOUT IT FURTHER….OTHERWISE OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN TROUBLE.... THE COUPLE SPENT THEIR DAYS HAPPILY……BUT THE BOY WAS VERY KEEN TO KNOW WHAT WAS THERE IN THAT SMALL PACKET…… AFTER SOME DAYS THE BOY AGAIN TOLD……DARLING AFTER MARRYING YOU , I GOT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAM…BUT TELL ME WHAT THAT PACKET IS…….IT WLL NEVER AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP…..AS I LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE………………..BUT WIFE ONLY TOLD THAT I ALSO LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE….THATS WHY TELLING U NOT TO ASK ABOUT THAT………. AFTER SOME DAYS WIFE WENT TO HER OWN HOUSE AND FORGOT TO TAKE HER PACKET………THEN THE BOY COULDN'T CONTROL HIMSELF….AND OPENED THAT PACKET………… HE WAS SHOCKED TO OPEN THAT……..THERE WAS 30 RUPEES……AND 2 WHEAT GRAINS….IN THAT PACKET……THE BOY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS…AND HOW IT COULD AFFECT T…

Height of Communication GAP

Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives a telephone call from Electric Company because the electricity bill has not been paid. " Am I speaking to Mrs.Sharma ? " "Yes...... speaking" guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the guy . "What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????" "Yes ........... We have a system of finding out who's overdue " "GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........." "Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue" "I know that ........ let me talk to my husband a…

Beauty Secrets

For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people. For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge
You never walk alone. We leave you a tradition of the future. The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw anyone away. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands - one for helping yourself, the second for helping others. You've great days still ahead of you. May there be many of them. ******

To be a Manager [ IT joke ]

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An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa,Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day." *********

You Are Wonderful

The following story captured our heart. It happened several years ago in the Paris opera house. A famous singer had been contracted to sing, and ticket sales were booming. In fact, the night of the concert found the house packed and every ticket sold. The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom you've all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment. The crowd groaned in disappointment and failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in's name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration. The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished,there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, Dad…

Engagement Ring

Nowadays, the engagement ring is a staple in our Western culture. It's taken for granted that if you want to tie the knot, you'll need a ring to show you're serious about a girl. Everyday guys come in our store needing to find the perfect ring, but few know why or how a ring has become the symbol of love. I'll expound on the history a bit so you can not only be a knight in shining armor, but also an educated knight in shining armor. The ancient Egyptians were the first civilization to use the circle as a symbol of the union between a man and a woman. The very nature of a circle, without a beginning or an end, represents the eternity of love. The Egyptians formed the first rings from bone or simple metals. The ancient Greeks had a different angle on the ring. For them, the ring was a symbol of betrothal, a promise to one day become engaged. Across many cultures, there's evidence that a gold ring emerged as the traditional gift of choice for a man to give the family …

Pause and ponder

A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into a pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home and committed suicide. Think about the story the next time you see someone spill milk at a dinner table or hear a baby crying. Think first before you lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between th…

Vo Nahi Mera

Vo Nahi Mera Magar Us Se Mohabat Hai To Hai,
Yeh Agar Rasmo Rivazo Se Bagawat Hai To Hai; Sach Ko Maine Sach Kaha Jab Keh Diya To Keh Diya,
Ab Zamaneki Nazar Mein Ye Himaakat Hai To Hai; Dost Ban Kar Dushmano As Vo Satata Hai Mujhe,
"Fir Bhi Us Pathar Dil Pe Marna Apni Fitrat Hai To Hai"; Kab Kaha Mainey Ki Vo Mil Jaye Mujhko,
Uski Bahon Mein Dum Nikle Itni Hastrat Hai To Hai; Jal Gaya Parvana To Usme Shama Ki Kya Khata,
Yun Raat Bhar Jalna-Jalaana Uski Kismat Hai To Hai; Vo Sath Hai To Zinda Hu,
Meri Saanso Ko Uski Zaroorat Hai To Hai..... Dur They,Dur Renhenge Har Dum Ye Zamein Asmaan,
Duriyon Ke Baad Bhi Dil Mein Kurbat Hai To Hai; Mainey Kab Kaha Tu Mil Hi Jae Mujhe,
Par Gair Na Ho Jaye Itni Is Hasrat Hai To Hai;

The Tao Of Forgiveness

One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes. "Think of all the people who have done or said something against you in the recent past, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put it in the sack." The disciple came up quite a few names, and soon his sack was heavy with potatoes. "Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week," said the sage. "We'll talk after that." At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was not particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a burden. It sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more effort to carry as time went on, even though its weight remained the same. After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant. Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned …

Lunch With God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat There all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever. When the boy opened t…

THE MAN AND HIS FINGER

A man once went to see a doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. "Doctor my whole body hurts me," he moaned. The doctor asked him to show exactly where the pain was. The man explained, "When I touch my shoulder, it hurts. When I touch my back it hurts. When I touch my legs, they hurt." The doctor did a thorough examination and told the man- "Sir, there is nothing wrong with your body. Your finger is broken. That is why it hurts wherever you touch. Get your finger plastered, rest it for a couple of weeks and all of your pains will disappear."!! ************ SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY In life so frequently it is our own perspective that causes us pain or pleasure. As we go through life "feeling" the world with our fingers, if our finger is broken naturally we will experience pain everywhere. But, We make the mistake of blaming the external world for our ailments: "My job is over-taxing, my husband is too demanding, my wife nags, my…

Pregnant unwed daughter

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared, She confides this ' news' to her mother. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, If there is a miscarriag…

The Driver's Licence

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."
"OK", the little girl says, "How much do! You weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" "That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you …

Whats Matter Honey...?

A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchens. When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more importantly, is very upset about something. "What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?" "It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and it worked!" "Then what's the matter? Were there a lot of bugs in it?" "I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it worked perfectly!" "So what's wrong?" "I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for a few minutes." "Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wife inquired. "No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key."

The Richest Man In The Valley

A rich landowner named Carl often rode around his vast estate so he could congratulate himself on his great wealth. One day while riding around his estate on his favourite horse, he saw Hans, an old tenant farmer. Hans was sitting under a tree when Carl rode by. Hans said, 'I was just thanking God for my food.'
Carl protested, 'If that is all I had to eat, I wouldn't feel like giving thanks.'
Hans replied, 'God has given me everything I need, and I am thankful for it.' The old farmer added, 'It is strange you should come by today because I had a dream last night. In my dream a voice told me, 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' I don't know what it means, but I thought I ought to tell you.' Carl snorted, 'Dreams are nonsense,' and galloped away, but he could not forget Hans' words: 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' He was obviously the richest man in the valley, so he invited his do…

MAN WITH NO ARMS

A man lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms. One day he could not stand it anymore. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a tall building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man on the sidewalk below skipping along whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and noticed this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life. He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly, useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he now knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could do it with no arms.…

Some Jokes

Girl:- I LOVE U. Boy:- Me Too. Girl:- How Much? Boy:- As much As U do. Girl:- “YOU CHEATER!” I thought u really LOVE me. Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ? STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata…. Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..! Mom: Kyu rote ho Son: Dad NE mujhe Kissi nahi di Mom: Tumne unko Table Nahi sunaya hoga Son: bazU wali aunty ko Kaunse tables aata hai Dali NE dali par nazar dali, Kisi NE is par dali, Kisi NE uspar dali, Hum NE jis par nazar dali, Uske baap NE uski Shaadi kahin aur kar dali

The Monkey with The Wooden Apples

There once was a happy monkey wandering the jungle, eating delicious fruit when hungry, and resting when tired. One day he came upon a house, where he saw a bowl of the most beautiful apples. He took one in each hand and ran back into the forest. He sniffed the apples and smelled nothing. He tried to eat them, but hurt his teeth. They were made of wood, but they were beautiful, and when the other monkeys saw them, he held onto them even tighter. He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered the jungle. They glistened red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him. He became so attached to them, that he didn't even notice his hunger at first. A fruit tree reminded him, but he felt the apples in his hands. He couldn't bear to set them down to reach for the fruit. In fact, he couldn't relax, either, if he was to defend his apples. A proud, but less happy monkey continued to walk along the forest trails. The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about le…

It's Appraisal Time !

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper…

The Split Milk

This is a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others? He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk! When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?" Indeed, he did. Afte…

What an Awesome Reply

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed. The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man. To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone…

I knew you would come

There were two childhood buddies who went through school and college and even joined the army together. War broke out and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were ambushed. Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill. He asked the captain if he could go. The captain said, "No, I can't let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it." Harry kept quiet. Again the voice came, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier. Again and again the voice came. Harry couldn't contain himself any longer and told the captain, "Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help." The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back…