Posts

Showing posts from July, 2010

LOVE FUNNY EMAILS?

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.. ...
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets..
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?''Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Mckinsey & Co., to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 115.27 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he…

FEW SAYINGS

NEVER   CRY    FOR   ANY   RELATION   IN     LIFE BECAUSE    FOR   THE   ONE   WHOM    YOU   CRY DOES   NOT   DESERVE   YOUR TEARS AND    THE    ONE   WHO    DESERVES WILL   NEVER   LET   YOU    CRY......... ........ TREAT   EVERYONE   WITH   POLITENESS EVEN    THOSE   WHO   ARE   RUDE    TO   YOU, NOT    BECAUSE   THEY   ARE   NOT    NICE BUT    BECAUSE   YOU   ARE    NICE........ ......... ...... NEVER    SEARCH   YOUR   HAPPINESS IN   OTHERS WHICH    WILL    MAKE   YOU   FEEL    ALONE, RATHER    SEARCH   IT   IN   YOURSELF YOU    WILL   FEEL   HAPPY EVEN    IF   YOU   ARE   LEFT    ALONE....... ......... ...... ALWAYS    HAVE A    POSITIVE   ATTITUDE   IN    LIFE. THERE    IS   SOMETHING   POSITIVE    IN    EVERY   PERSON. EVEN    A STOPPED   WATCH   IS    RIGHT TWICE    A   DAY......... ......... ......... ........ HAPPINESS    ALWAYS   LOOKS   SMALL WHEN   WE   HOLD   IT   IN   OUR    HANDS. BUT    WHEN    WE   LEARN   TO  SHARE    IT, WE    REALIZE   HOW  BIG    AND   PRECIOUS  …

Insulting a Woman

A newly wed couple Bashir and Musaraat came to live in an apartment where right across lived a young attractive man. Bashir was bragging to his friend, "My wife is so smart that she caught the guy across the window peeping us nude in action into our Apartment. She was so angered that she wanted to go there and kill the bastard, if I didn't stop her." The highly impressed friend praised, “You are lucky, she seems to be the woman of high family value, principles, and character." Bashir replied, “No man, she got mad when the guy across the window shut his window on us.”

BALANCE SHEET

Our Birth is our Opening Balance ! Our Death is our Closing Balance! Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities Our Creative Ideas are our Assets Heart is our Current Asset Soul is our Fixed Asset Brain is our Fixed Deposit Thinking is our Current Account Achievements are our Capital Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade Friends are our General Reserves Values & Behavior are our Goodwill Patience is our Interest Earned Love is our Dividend Children are our Bonus Issues Education is Brands / Patents Knowledge is our Investment Experience is our Premium Account The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately. The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award. ******

Waste not, want not.

Image
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages.  What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.
"We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a …

A BRAVE MAN WROTE THIS

A son asked his mother the following question:
'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'
The mother looks at her son and replies:
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
'Son, all household appliances come in white.
(They are still looking for dad !!)

Written by a 90 year old

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It…

A SILENT LOVE

From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & w…